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Delete redundancies to make your text read in a clearer, more professional way

Sometimes we fill our writing with redundancies or meaningless modifiers that can easily be removed or rephrased. See if you can find some in the sentences below.

Test yourself!

Identify them and remove them or rephrase the sentence to avoid them.

1             The organization arranged a huge dinner in a very luxurious restaurant to welcome all the participants.

2             This work used descriptive statistics represented in frequencies to find out how many respondents gave each response and to analyse their profile respectively.

3             The claim is sent to the technical unit for reviewing and seeking consent in order to process the payment.

4             With reference to nationality analysis, in the sample, the data indicated that Russians came on top of the list with 23%, followed by Germans (17%), British (15.8%), Italians (14.5%), French (8.2%), Libyans (7.6%), Saudi Arabians (4.5%), Americans (3.7%) and other nationalities (5.7%). Nevertheless , in the sample of sales and marketing managers, all respondents were Egyptians. 

Answer key

1             The organization arranged a huge dinner in a very luxurious restaurant to welcome all the participants.

2             This work used descriptive statistics represented in frequencies to find out how many respondents gave each response and to analyse their profile respectively.

3             The claim is sent to the technical unit for reviewing and seeking consent in order to process the payment.

4             With reference to The nationality analysis in the sample the data indicated that Russians came first on top of the list with 23%, followed by Germans (17%), British (15.8%), Italians (14.5%), French (8.2%), Libyans (7.6%), Saudi Arabians (4.5%), Americans (3.7%) and other nationalities (5.7%). Nevertheless , in the sample of But all sales and marketing managers, all respondents were Egyptians. 

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Carol Waites (PhD)
Email:  carolswritingtips@gmail.com

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Presentation/editing by Christina O’Shaughnessy (editor)
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