Are you still using expressions like any of these?
“Kindly be advised” or “Please be informed” or “Kindly note that”
“for your reference and perusal”
“at your earliest convenience”
“With reference to your above-mentioned request, kindly find enclosed herewith”?
These types of formalities lengthen the message, obscure it and alienate the reader. They can often be shortened or removed altogether. In today’s world they sound like they come from another era.
1 Example from yesteryear with old-fashioned expressions in bold:
Dear colleagues,
Please be informed that a meeting will be held on 12 February at 9 a.m. via Zoom (link).
Approximately two hours will be required for this meeting.
Kindly find enclosed herewith the meeting agenda and supporting documents for your perusal and ease of reference.
Kindly inform the secretariat of your availability at your earliest convenience.
1 A redraft, which is more appropriate for today’s world:
Dear colleagues,
We are holding a meeting on 12 February from 9 to 11 a.m. via Zoom (link).
I have attached the agenda and background documents.
Please let me know if you can join us.
Test yourself. Now you try with this example
2 Dear colleagues,
Please be informed that the next regional system meeting will take place on 22 October from 2:30 to 4:00 p.m. New York time.
Kindly be advised that the call will focus on the major political crises in the region, including, inter alia, the latest developments in Syria and Armenia.
2 Suggested redraft to remove yesteryear’s expressions:
Dear colleagues,
The next regional system meeting will take place on 22 October from 2:30 to 4:00 p.m. New York time.
The call will focus on the major political crises in the region, including the latest developments in Syria and Armenia.
Note: Delete ‘Please be informed that’, ‘Kindly be advised that’ and inter alia, as it is a repetition of ‘including’, as well as being a Latinism of yesteryear.
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Author: Carol Waites
Presentation/editing by Christina O’Shaughnessy
https://worldwidewriting.org/
________________________________________________
Carol Waites (PhD)
Email: carolswritingtips@gmail.com
For more writing tips, consult my website:
https://carolswritingtips.com/writingtips/
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Carol’s memoir of her times at the United Nations, Behind the Flags, is available on Amazon and lulu.com
ISBN 9783952632703 Behind the Flags Amazon
9783952632710 Behind the Flags Black and White Version Amazon (Australia and Japan)
9783952632727 Behind the Flags lulu.com