Pruning your text to get rid of redundant words

“all, relevant, appropriate, duly, due, specific, closely, close”

Do you tend to use these words? They’re words that are commonly found in writing in international organizations and can usually be deleted.

A word like “all” can be substituted by “the” to mean “all” and to dedramatize the effect.

Working “closely” with someone sounds a bit overly familiar or comical, or is reserved for high-level diplomatic correspondence.

“Duly” and “due” can usually be omitted.  (However, “to be due” is correct when a deadline is being referred to.)

Quiz

Identify the redundancies in these sentences. Decide if they belong or not or how to rephrase to eliminate them.

1. The group reviewed 15 samples selected from all supplier sites.
2. It should report to the appropriate national authority, such as the Ministry of Health, and collaborate with relevant external organizations or funders.
3. Once the activity has been completed, the report should be duly filled out by the Technical Officer responsible.
4. The committee will need to collaborate closely with the surveillance sites.
5. Other workforce development initiatives use competency frameworks to address specific technical topics for disease prevention.

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Answer key

The possible redundancies are underlined and a suggested redraft given.

1. The group reviewed 15 samples selected from all the supplier sites.
2. It should report to the appropriate designated national authority, such as the Ministry of Health, and collaborate with relevant external organizations or funders.
3. Once the activity has been completed, the report should be duly filled out by the Technical Officer responsible.
4. The committee will need to collaborate closely with the surveillance sites.
5. Other workforce development initiatives use competency frameworks to address specific technical topics for disease prevention.

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Author: Carol Waites

Presentation/editing by Christina O’Shaughnessy 
https://worldwidewriting.org/

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Carol Waites (PhD)
Email: carolswritingtips@gmail.com
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Carol’s memoir of her times at the United Nations, Behind the Flags, is available on Amazon and lulu.com

ISBN 9783952632703 Behind the Flags Amazon
9783952632710 Behind the Flags Black and White Version Amazon (Australia and Japan)
9783952632727 Behind the Flags lulu.com