If you begin your sentence with an information word or phrase, you draw your reader in right away! Impersonal beginnings such as “This is” “There is” “It is” “There are” are boring, as they give no information. The reader has to wait.
Tip: Think action verbs.
Examples
Impersonal expression: There has recently been the problem of escalating violence in that region.
Improved: Violence has recently been escalating in that region.
Impersonal expression: It is reported that many people died during the military coup.
Improved: Many people reportedly died during the military coup.
Now you try it.
1 There was a dramatic increase in unemployment in the crisis countries.
2 There are many important issues at stake in this debate.
3 There were certain actions taken by the new Government that greatly helped to unify the country.
4 There is a need for increased communication between the judiciary and the prison system.
5 It is suggested by the Committee that we request more funding.
6 It is essential that urgent measures be taken by the local authorities to prevent a repetition of the flooding.
Answer key
1 Unemployment increased dramatically in the crisis countries.
2 Many important issues are at stake in this debate.
3 Some actions the new Government took greatly helped to unify the country.
4 The judiciary and the prison system need to improve their communication.
5 The Committee suggests that we request more funding.
6 Local authorities should take urgent measures to prevent a repetition of the flooding.
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Author: Carol Waites
Presentation/editing by Christina O’Shaughnessy
https://worldwidewriting.org/
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Carol Waites (PhD)
Email: carolswritingtips@gmail.com
For more writing tips, consult my website:
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Carol’s memoir of her times at the United Nations, Behind the Flags, is available on Amazon and lulu.com
ISBN 9783952632703 Behind the Flags Amazon
9783952632710 Behind the Flags Black and White Version Amazon (Australia and Japan)
9783952632727 Behind the Flags lulu.com